Shadow work is something very recommended in the witch community, but there isn’t a lot of clear information on how to do it
When I was ready to start, I had to spend a couple of weeks searching for information on what I was supposed to be doing and how it worked
Shadow work has two parts, discovery and healing (connection). The type that you choose depends on the goal. If you want to find out more about your shadow and why you do the things that you do, then discovery is what you want. Once it is discovered, then you heal
If you are here, you probably want to start shadow work but you are in the same place I was
Completely confused about how it works and what to do
So I will walk you through what I learned through research and testing things out
What is the goal of Shadow Work?
The first thing you need to do is decide what your goal is
Are you trying to use shadow work to heal past trauma, learn about yourself, or something else?
If you already know what your limiting beliefs are and you don’t have a lot of heavy trauma to work through, shadow work may not be the best option for you
Use affirmations to work on the limiting beliefs that you know are there
I didn’t know what my limiting beliefs were and I definitely have trauma to work through
That is why I decided to start shadow work
My goal is to find my limiting beliefs and change them
And I want to heal from the trauma and pain that created those beliefs so I don’t continue to create new ones
So before you get started, think about why you want to get started
You would be surprised how much you don’t know about yourself
Do you have triggers that instantly set off your anger?
Do you have triggers that bring memories and sadness?
Then Shadow work may work well for you
Just remember that shadow work is work and it isn’t very pleasant usually
So start small until you understand your reactions to shadow work
Once you feel comfortable in your ability, then you can start working on the deep trauma that is affecting your life more than you may be aware
There are two kinds of shadow work that I want to discuss:
- Discovery shadow work
- Connection (or healing) shadow work
They are both shadow work because you are tapping into your shadow, but they have very different goals
Starting Discovery Shadow work
If you want to start discovery shadow work, you probably know that your shadow negatively affects your life but you don’t know anything else
You are so used to your limiting beliefs that you can’t recognize them anymore
That was my struggle
I was told over and over to face and change my limiting beliefs
But when I sat down and tries to figure out what they were, I maybe came up with one or two
I KNEW I had more
Shadow work is very effective if you want to discover what those limiting beliefs are that hold you back in life
But remember that it takes time
Give yourself several weeks before deciding if it is working for you
You need enough information to find patterns
So give yourself several days a week and many weeks before judging how shadow work is working for you
To get started in discovery shadow work, I would start looking up shadow work prompts on Pinterest, TikTok, and Google
There are many out there
Just start writing down any that call out to you or interest you
You want a pretty large list
When you are ready to do your shadow work, choose one or two of those prompts and write them in your journal
Sit there and let your mind think about those questions
Once the thoughts are flowing, write down everything that comes to your mind
No judgment or holding back
Just let the thoughts go straight to your paper
Keep writing down everything that comes to your mind, even if it repeats, until your mind goes quiet
Sometimes this will be pretty quick, and other times there will be a lot to write down
Once your mind is quiet, you can do some deep breathing and put your journal away
When you have many journal entries, start looking through what you wrote down
Look for patterns
Things that you repeat throughout the days
If they are negative, those statements are limiting beliefs
Starting Connection shadow work
Connection shadow work is what you do if you already know what the problem is
Maybe you have a memory that reminds you of when something traumatic happened
For example, I have memories of being a child and being really excited every day for my dad to come home and spend some time with me
Then the daily disappointment of being told that he was too tired to deal with me
So when I feel like a burden on everyone I love, I know where that came from
If I wanted to target and heal that part of me, I need to work with connection shadow work
Before you do this for the first time, I want to warn you
It can be a lot and it can be very emotional
I started with a minor pain point and still cried a lot for a long time
It’s like reopening a wound that you stapled shut
It hurts but at least it’s not bleeding
Connection shadow work is like taking that staple out so you can bandage it correctly and allow it to heal
It is painful and you could end up with waves of emotion for days or even weeks
But once you finish riding that wave, the freedom and peace are incredible
I don’t want to scare you, but I want you to be prepared
To start connection shadow work, all you need is a comfortable chair with another seat in front of it, and a past version of you that you want to work with
If I wanted to target the past version of myself that I mentioned above, I would visualize as many details of who I was at that time
If there are many different versions for the same pain, just choose the one that feels most hurt
Sit down in your chair and get comfortable
Visualize that past version of you sitting in the chair in front of you
Try to add as many details as you can
What kind of clothes were you wearing?
Did you have glasses?
What did you smell like?
Add as many details into your visualization as you can
If you struggle with this, that’s ok!
Do the best you can
Detailed visualization can take some practice
Treat this version of you like a different person
Go into the conversation with love and compassion
And just start talking to them
Ask questions and listen to what they have to say
Be the adult that you needed at that point in your life
And give that past version of yourself what you needed at the time
For me, I would listen to that child’s sadness, disappointment, and pain
I would listen as she told me that she was really hoping that he would keep his promise
Be careful not to come back with something like “he breaks the promise every day. You should know better!”
That is judgmental and a great way for that past version of you to retreat back into your shadow
Give love and compassion
I would tell my past self that it isn’t her fault
Her dad is tired and having a really hard time
It has nothing to do with her
I would tell her how amazing and loving she is for forgiving him every day
And that I would love to play cards with her
Everything that I needed at that point in my life, I would give to her now
Your subconscious cannot tell the difference between a real experience and a visualized one
So this truly helps your brain start to heal from the hurt that has been there from your needs not being met
It may take a few tries
Make sure that you are in a safe and comfortable place when doing this because it is very emotional
What if you struggle with visualization?
Most people struggle with that detailed visualization
And others cannot visualize at all
If that is you, that’s ok
Do the best you can!
Maybe roleplay with another person
Tell someone else the things that you need and have them give them to you
Tell them all the things that your past self needs to unload
Without visualization, you will have to get creative
If you are just not good at it, then it is time to practice!
You can practice visualization by choosing a memory to visit
Let’s say I want to revisit one of my zoo trips as a child
I would decide what memory I am going to use, close my eyes, and start building that memory in my mind
What did the drive look like on the way to the zoo?
Was there music on the radio?
What can I smell?
What am I wearing?
Walk yourself through the entire memory and try to add as much detail as you can
By starting with a happy memory when practicing visualization, your brain will fight you a lot less
This is because it is enjoying that memory
Practice visualization a lot until it gets easier and easier
Then you are ready to connect with your past self